Clarity: What a Dwarf Cup of Water Taught Me About Terms & Conditions.

It was a sunny afternoon in JSS 1. I was new to the secondary school system. Coming from a private primary school where every pupil is monitored and treated specially (why won’t they, I no dey pay?)
Everything was new to me. The most intriguing was the level of independence each pupil had. No teachers staying in class all day, different teachers for each subject and some would still decide not to show up. This golden lesson on terms and conditions was passed down to me just by the window to my classroom by my classmates. I found a group of new classmates arguing and haggling, so I decided to join them out of curiosity. Little did I know I was the mark. A boy held a dwarf cup full of water and claimed no one could ever finish the water in it. I laughed and looked at them ridiculously. How on earth wont I finish this small cup of water? I retorted.

The boy holding the cup shouted “You cant, and I can bet my life on it, oya bring out your money” he said as he dropped a new 50 naira note.
O_O “chai! See money”, I said under my breath. I looked at the boy, his money and the dwarf cup of water I was told I could not finish. I laughed and dropped my bet. There was an uproar. I few nairas exchanged hands. Those were the side betting. I picked the cup of water and downed its content in one gulp, smiling. I was a winner. I had extra cash with me. As I made for the bookie hoping to claim my winnings. The boy asked to check If I had actually finished the water. I became puzzled, is he blind or what I asked. After careful inspection, he announced I did not. My eyes turned red. The world literally froze in time, just like the Nicki Minaj pepsi advert. “It’s a lie, you are cheats” I bellowed trying to conceal my tears. “Oya prove it.” I asked locking his white shirt in a grip. And he did show me. What he showed me has stuck with me for years. He said no one could finish the water without leaving those tiny droplets of water. It then dawned on me how foolish I had been. The possibility of an easy win had clouded my reasoning. I did not clarify what the bet was about. I had sized up the dwarf cup and its content and acted gullibly. And that’s what most people do. They sign documents and contracts without reading the fine lines. Yet when a breach of contract occurs, they scream foul play. Albeit, if they had taken time to read the contract papers well, they would have been able to negotiate a better contract or sign no contracts at all.
Are you about to sign a document? Here are a few tips that could help when signing your next document.

1. A contract or agreement is a document that states terms of engagement between two parties. It could be for any purpose. For example, because I have a blog, you expect me to post articles that enlighten and inform you on my blog. While I expect you to read, comment and share my posts on social media. Then we agree by signing. You get the drift? Right! Let’s move to the next point.

2. Read The entire Document: You need to read and understand the T&Cs of any agreement before signing because simply put, that’s what makes up the agreement. once you sign, you are bound by whatever was written as a term in that agreement.

3. Identify Vague Terms: A term needs to be explicit not implicit. Because contracts and agreements are expectations of parties involved, some terms may have different meanings to each party. There’s really nothing like a hidden clause in an agreement. It may only be vague. If a term is vague or you don’t really understand, you need to communicate to the other party to clarify.

4. You are not under any obligation or coercion to sign any agreement if it seems too demanding. Sometimes, agreements go back and forth between parties several times before they agree on a final one.

5. If there’s a breach of contract, you have the right to sue and are liable to be sued.

6. If a contract seems to good to be true, it may actually not be good at all.

7. I have fulfilled my part of this contract by posting this article. Oya biko, fulfill yours by commenting and please share.
Thanks.

Don’t forget to follow me on twitter @phemyte

Lessons From The Jungle: A Tribute To Maya Angelou (1928 – 2014)

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. #MayaAngelou

 

Every morning in the jungle the lion knows he must roar and scare the deer out of his hideout or else he goes hungry for the day.

Every morning in the Jungle, the deer knows that he must outrun the lion or else he becomes food to the lion.

 Every morning in the jungle the hunter knows he must aim sharp or else he goes home empty handed and his family starves.

So Every morning, the lion wakes up and begins to roar to petrify the deer. Because he understands his strength and the power of his roar.

Every morning, the deer wakes up and begins to run for his dear life. Because he understands that for his life to be safe, he needs to run as far as possible from the roar of the lion that terrifies and transfixes him.

Every morning the hunter wakes up and begins to aim. Either for the lion or the deer. Because he understands the power of his gun.

 

Same jungle, same morning, different characters and different perspectives.

The lion did not chose to be a lion but he has adapted to his life. He understands his strength.

The deer also did not chose to be a deer but he has adapted to his life. He understands his weaknesses and makes up for it with his legs.

However, the hunter has chosen to be one and he has done everything required to be a hunter.

Which are you? The lion, the deer or the hunter?

You may not be able to choose your parents, your country or skin color, but you don’t need to let those factors deny you the life you were created to lead. Your background should not be strong enough to keep your back on the ground.

A great poet and biographer, Maya Angelou passed on to the great beyond yesterday. Her life is cocktail of fortunes and misfortunes, glee and gloom. Hailing from the sexual abuse of her mother’s boyfriend, to being mute. On to gracing the stage of Porgy and Bess with her dance steps. From pimp to bimbo. Poet, journalist and author. Your life was indeed a full one and clearly reflects that the true path to success, peace, joy and fulfillment in life is to decide. To choose to be yourself. Define your life and actively pursue it. No one owes you your right to life. No one owns your right to happiness. It all begins and ends (maybe not) with you.

On the pulse of this great morning, as we celebrate you. Not only do we know why the caged bird sings but we also know it is now free.

Maya Angelou

Three Lessons Pee-ing In A Bottle Taught Me About Talent and Self Discovery

 

 “if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it would live its entire life thinking it’s stupid.”-Albert Einstein

urinatinginbottles-300x203
pee in a bottle

 

            There’s a common argument about what a man can do a woman can do better. Both parties cite instances of how one surpasses the other in various activities. Ridiculous and hilarious as it sounds, the only instance where a woman has not been able to outdo a man is this; much as a woman tries, she cannot accurately pee in a bottle without spilling her by-product of deamination all over the place. A man on the other hand can perform this feat.

What this scenario tells me every time the argument occurs is just a simple truth that I have summed in three points:

1. A man can pee and a woman can pee: They are both skilled and gifted. Everyone has an area of gifting. No matter how useless or skill-less you think you are, there is something you are talented with. You might not have discovered it yet, but it’s there.

2. A man’s member is more suited to pee-ing in a bottle than that of a woman. So it’s not only about having talents and discovering what skills you have. It’s sometimes about in what areas you are gifted at.

3. The discovery of what you can do with your talent and how is your prerogative. – For a man to pee in a bottle without spilling, he needs to bring the bottle close to his member and execute the project. This is where knowing how to use your talent comes into play. No matter how gifted you are, if you have no idea how to use it, you perform below par and make a mess of yourself. No matter how suited a man’s member is designed to pee in a bottle, if he stands at a distance to pee in the bottle, the best he can do is quarter or half the bottle.

         Albert Einstein once said, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it would live its entire life thinking it’s stupid.” However, @ofilispeaks has his version of the quote which is quite apt for this post. “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it would not only live its entire life thinking it’s stupid, it would live its life thinking it’s inferior to the monkey.”

        So what this implies is this, comparing men and women along some parallel lines can be dumb. Why not just acknowledge the unique virtues in each sex and appreciate their differences. That we are different doesn’t mean we are better than each other.

 

You have a different view? kindly use the comment box below to share your opinions. You can also follow me on twitter, @phemyte thanks.

[MUST READ] When Is The Right Time To Pursue Your Dream?

“There will never be a perfect time to pursue your dreams. #JustDoIt ”

A young man seeking to know when exactly is the right time to pursue his dreams and ambitions conducted a three question survey with two groups. The first group were people above the age of 25 years while the other group were people below the age of 25. The three questions he asked were:

1. If you could do anything right now, what would you do?
2. Are you doing it right now?
3. Why not?

The group of people above the age of twenty-five answered the first question with myriads of answers. Some wanted to start businesses, travel the world, write books etc.
To the second question ” Are you doing it right now?” They unanimously answered “No”

To the third question “why not?”; they gave three answers ranging from having

a. “No time” they had to go to work, meet responsibilities and make time for family.

b. ” No Money.” Their dreams required money. They needed money to build businesses or travel or publish a book.

c. “They were too old.” They said they felt too old to pursue their dreams. With youngsters starting businesses in their teen age, they thought it was ridiculous for them to be competing with their siblings or their kids age mate as the case may be.

To the second group of people below the age of twenty five years.
They also gave similar answers. They wanted to start businesses, travel the world, write books for children, etc.

Were they doing it? No

Why not? They also gave three answers.

1. They had no time. With school work, practice, home works etc. There was no time left for their dreams.

2. They had no money and no one was ready to fund their dreams. Perhaps if they had a job, they could use the money but they had no job either.

3. They also said they were too young. They lacked the experience needed to pursue their dreams.

So when exactly is the right time? Is age twenty five the magic number?

You see, the world has a way of playing on your intelligence. Holding you back from taking action. “You are too young.” “You are too old” “You can’t afford it.” How will you sustain it? No one has ever done that.” Yet in the end when you allow the force of inertia to overcome you, the same society, same environment and family will come back to haunt you. Telling you how you have led a useless life.

Steve Jobs, the great digital revolutionary and co-founder of Apple sums it up in these words.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big decisions in life. Because everything else, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving what is truly important in life. – steve jobs.

The best way is to do first and let posterity judge you right or wrong. The time is now. There will never be a perfect time to do all you ever want or need to do.

Before you close this page, let me ask you these same questions:

1. If you could do anything right now, what would you do?
2. Are you doing it right now?
3. Why not?

I hope you find answers to propel you to action. You can follow me on twitter @phemyte.

Review: BlackBerry Messenger 8.0 Slows Down OS.

BBM 8.0

BBM 8.0

Blackberry rolled out an update to its messenger yesterday with a totally new look. I believe its in a bid to make BBM uniform across platforms. However, its got a few glitches that needs to be fixed.

1. It is slow and consequently impacts the RAM, which also tasks the OS.

2. The new BBM is just like 3G. The phone heats up so much that you’d have to let it cool for a while.

3. The interface is cool (just like whatsapp) but the update tab should be like the old one. Its so much work having to scroll to the extreme right to see who changed DP’s.

While the update might be cool for android phones, most of which are touch screens, it is more work for traditional Blackberry phones.

If you’d like your old BBM back, you can downgrade it here.

BBM 7 OS 6

BBM 7 For OS 7.1
Or
BBM7 for OS 7

Or
BBM 7 OS 7

What are your experiences with the BBM8.0 update? Use the comment box to share your views. Thanks.

~ @phemyte